


Life as a Diary

by JTR01



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Isolation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24495985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JTR01/pseuds/JTR01
Summary: Tom Riddle thinks about his life as a diary and his resentment towards Voldemort, the man responsible for his existence.
Kudos: 4





	Life as a Diary

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Harry Potter.

In retrospect, Tom can admit that he didn't think the whole horcrux plan through. Sure in theory it sounded like a great idea, but that was only because he hadn't thought about what would happen to the piece of his soul he would place inside his dairy and had instead assumed he would be the Tom with the majority of his soul. Not the small piece, forever cursed to experience every horrible moment of his life over and over again. In fact he hadn't believed it would have been capable of thought at all, and would just be a static thing that keep him alive.

At first he had accepted what had happened, acknowledging that it was part of the plan and at least this way he would still be avoiding death. It had helped that his counterpart regularly wrote in the diary, with it reaching the point that Tom began to feel regret for all the men and women he had left heartbroken. It turned out he really was as charming and funny as he thought he was, so the very idea of not spending anymore time with himself became something he feared and made him understand why his sexual partners had been so angry when he eventually chose to cast them aside. He understood further when he found he could allow his counterpart to enter the diary, leading to a lot of fun nights. But just like he had left them, he left himself as his counterpart began to delve further into the dark arts and began to write less and less. The irony was not lost on him, and in his less sane moments he would laugh about it.

Eventually his counterpart stopped writing entirely, which must have been around 1956 or 1957, and Tom was left to his own devices. He began to explore the world he inhabited, which he knew was only a creation from his own memories. That was something he found remarkable, and he had come up with a few theories to explain why it happened even though he would never have a clear answer. When he was created, he suddenly remembered everything in perfect clarity. Every conversation, every smell, every cough he ever had in his sixteen years, seven months and twenty-one days of life. Which meant that as he wandered the halls of the only real home he ever had, he could experience every event in his life and witness everything he had subconsciously seen or overheard. He practically let himself get lost in his own nostalgia, enjoying the high point sit his life with glee.

Sadly his lack of self control meant he accidentally experienced his own birth not long after he began exploring. It was an important lesson that made him much more careful as he explored his life.

Naturally memories could only do so much and without his counterpart, who Tom had by that point come to refer to as Voldemort to help differentiate them despite his disgust at his birth name, to help him keep track of how much time has passed, Tom found himself spending an unknown amount if time doing nothing. He tried to keep track of time, but being a diary he was limited in his abilities since he lacked eyes, ears and a nose which were useful in identifying your environment. He could feel when he was being moved and could feel if it was hot or cold, and he definitely felt it when wind blew his pages open. But none of that helped with identifying the time, and having explored every memory at least four times by this point including his own birth (he had come to develop the opinion that no matter how horrific childbirth was for mothers, it was far worse for the children) he found himself without anything to do except go insane.

Then he would go same again. Before rejoining insanity. And then he would wave goodbye to his days of discussing politics to an imaginary dog to sit around being bored back into the welcoming arms of insanity all over again. The experience almost made him laugh, an act that was prevented due to being in a very sane mood at this point in his existence.

He found it very amusing that he would end up in this position, as for years he has looked down at everyone. Oh he hid it behind polite smiles, warm conversations and passionate encounters, but he looked at people as the gullible imbeciles that they were. For years he had only used them to achieve what he wanted, to further his own plans and desires. If he needed knowledge about horcuxes, he would pet the ego of his potions master. If he required muscle to help him in his battles, charm those who barely had the brainpower to do anything but eat and sleep. And if he needed release or practice, as some would require more thorough persuasion than others, he only needed to smile at those who blushed when they saw him. Now however, he can see that he had needed those brainless tools more than he cared to admit. Because despite his utter contempt for people and muggles, Tom was a social being and craved attention. He needed people to talk to, to manipulate and to have admire him for his intelligence and charm. Without that, he felt lost and lacking any form of purpose, which all added up to him feeling resentful.

For a while now, Tom has been thought of somehow taking Voldemort's place. He can take the life force others to create a physical form for himself, something he knew would be useful in his purpose in reopening the Chamber of Secrets. He had spent so much time fantasizing of Voldemort falling under this control, unknowingly giving his life so Tom could take his place. It was a wonderful thought, but the tragedy was that Tom's isolation had taught him something important. As he observed every decision he ever made, he became aware of himself and began to realise why Voldemort stopped writing. Because he knew Tom would get resentful, would get angry and would inevitably try to take his place because that was what he would do if he was in Tom's position. So Tom resigned himself to his fate of waiting for when Voldemort had any use of him though as time passes he came to accept that

So when someone finally wrote in his dairy, he almost cried from joy which was an act he had never experienced. He watched, captivated by the words that appeared before him which dragged him out of his boredom. He waited as the words became clearer, wondering what caused Voldemort to finally speak to him after all this time.

_Dear Diary_

_I guess mum though it would be a good idea for me to have a diary because I found this in my cauldron. So hello me, because I better be the only one reading this or I will die of embarrassment._

Oh God, this had to be a joke. This cannot be happening right now.

_Anyway, some important stuff happened today. I met Gildory Lockhart, which was sort of fun I guess. For a celebrity he was sort of what you would expect, being full of himself. Makes me appreciate how different Harry is. He's so much more humble, and when he's polite it doesn't feel fake. I hope he's willing to talk to me at Hogwarts. Don't tell anyone, but I'm actually really scared. What if I get sorted into Slytherin or nobody likes me?_

This is really happening. He is now in the possession of a young girl, a first year judging by what she had just said. Has he really fallen that far, as he truly gone from an intelligent and cunning young wizard with plan to escape death to an audience for the worries of a prepubescent witch? Voldemort must be getting some sick enjoyment from this, which Tom unfortunately understood as he would do the same thing if he was Voldemort. Tom has never wished for death more than he has now, and considering his whole plan was to avoid death that showed how miserable he was.

Eventually Tom began to notice that the girl was still writing, and he was drawn out of his thoughts as she basically babbled on about this Harry kid. He started to notice a few phrases, particularly You-Know-Who, being repeated and how Harry defeated this person. Part of him said it couldn't be possible, that he wouldn't be defeated by some child. But another part asked the question he desperately wanted to know the answer to. What if it was true? Because there was no way Voldemort was dead, as Tom would need to be killed first for that to happen, but if he was weakened then maybe Tom's plans aren't as hopeless as he had thought. So with a small smile he waved his arm, making the words vanish from the pages of his diary, before beginning to speak to the girl.

Yes, maybe things were finally going his way.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me if there are any spelling mistakes or sentences that don't make sense. So I've been wanting to write a Harry Potter story for awhile but I never found the time until now. I know this sort of thing has been done before but I thought it would be fun to do as I noticed that not many stories mention what Tom did in his diary or go over his opinion of his counterpart. And I have always believed that if Tom had succeeded in the second book he would have tried to replace Voldmort as I can't imagine any version of Voldemort being happy that someone else got the credit he believed was rightfully his.


End file.
